Happy-Meal
In the microwave, the balding hermit watched the words appear on his ‘Happy-Meal’:
“One Meal to rule them all, One Meal to find them,
One Meal to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.”
That was when he decided to stop eating fast-food, it was all too complicated.
By Grant
Lesson Learnt
The monster looked very upset as the villagers cried out,
“Be gone, foul beast!”
Even in the torchlight, they could see its eyes fill with water, and over the howling dogs they heard it sob.
It turned and fled into the darkness.
And so they learnt, even monsters have feelings.
By Grant
Reality
The prince carefully pushed the shoe over her foot, and sat back, satisfied, when it fitted perfectly.
“You! You must be the one I danced with!”
She tried to control herself, but burst out laughing.
“What?”
“I don’t dance.”
“But how? The shoe…”
“Maybe look at your partner next time.”
By Grant
The Best
He had dreamed of being the best. The best rider, the best shot. The best at everything.
The best at being a cowboy.
But he wasn’t the best, he wasn’t even good.
The rodeo ended quickly, with a little crunch.
Though, it was the best crunch anyone had ever heard.
By Grant
She Had It Coming
She lay in the driveway, not moving, bleeding silently.
“She had it coming for along time now,” I stuttered nervously.
The officer remained silent for a moment, and I desperately tried to remember if discharging a firearm into a car’s engine within city limits was a misdemeanor or a felony.
By William
Breaking News
“Dad, mum, I’ve got something to tell you.”
“Okay, what is it son? You know you can tell us anything!”
“It might upset you…”
“Son, out with it!”
“Um – I crashed the car.”
“Oh thank goodness! We thought you were going to tell us you’re gay!”
“Oh. Um, that too…”
By Grant
Mighty Explorer
He squeezed his way deeper into the cavern, feeling his way forward in the darkness. He knew it was only a matter of time before he broke through.
Suddenly, with a click his surroundings lit up, and a sound he dreaded reached him:
“Charles! Get out from under those blankets!”
By Grant
Please Hold
“Please hold…”
Great! I’m stuck on hold! This is gonna take forever!
Oh come on! I’m waiting, and waiting… and waiting…
For crying out loud! Please pick up! Please!
It’s been half an hour, what the hell could be taking…?
“We are sorry for the wait…”
Phew!
“… but keep holding…”
By Grant
A Painter’s Pains
“Do i really have to sit while you paint me again, Leo?”
“Yes, Lisa, but smile this time! You always look so sad!”
“Oh, fine, but i never know where to look!”
“Oh, stop moaning, Lisa, and sit down, only a few more sits and I’ll be finished…”
By Grant
Different
The beer tasted bitter and warm in my mouth, but i kept pulling at it, determined to be ‘one of the guys’. The rough joking around i could handle, even the friendly tap on the bum, but i knew i’d never be one if they kept staring at my rack.
By Grant
